Thankyou Ebay!

It is with immense pleasure that I present to you:

The witticisms, I'll leave up to you.

Crimes Against Craft

Yes it's that time of the week again, already. This week it is a case of I just don't understand. I would just like to add, I will not think less of anyone who does.These are earrings made out of cardboard, and paper mache. They are very large apparently but so light. There was nothing for scale in the picture, so I like to imagine they are massive, oh how I wish they had used a model to photograph them. (Incidentally, I think these would be fabulous for dress-ups, and might get around to making them with my girl monkeys one day.)

Now this is a mystery to me. I mean I don't really like wreaths, and wouldn't like to decorate my house with them, but I wouldn't normally consider them a crime either. But this? A fake wreath? Made of fimo?

Don't these loaves look yummy? Well you can't eat them. They are for decoration. I don't get it. I just don't get it.

I did make some salt dough christmas tree decorations one year, a monkey bonding activity. It turns out that rats rather like the taste.

Crimes Against Craft

The Knitted Trouser Suit issue.

WARNING: The following photographs may contain images of an adult woman wearing a cape and there may be something rather unfortunate going on in the crutch area of said cape wearing adult woman. (Click to enlarge at your own risk.)

Crimes Against Craft

This is a little gem I picked up at Savers, as you can see by the stickers plastered all over it which I couldn't remove without damaging the magazine. Idiots. Anyway it is dated 1975, I haven't got around to reading it yet, but Husband enjoyed it immensely. I think the knitted toy on the front is supposed to be a panda only it looks more like a Womble of Wimbledon with an identity crisis to me. (Can you imagine calling a magazine 'Calling All Housewives'? It's too funny.)

There's just something about crocheted toys isn't there? Aren't you just dying to make one of these? Well I've saved you the trouble, here's mine:

Feel free to laugh, I don't mind. Not only does he look kind of sad and disproportionate, he is kind of prickly too, just want you want in a teddy bear.

Crimes Against Craft

Firstly I would like to talk about these strange concrete creatures that were found in our back yard upon moving in to our current abode. They are as you can see rather hideous, but I have solved the mystery of where they came from thanks to Tanya the Art Butcher, there is some sort of vortex between our backyard and Happy Hollow. It's the only explanation that makes any sense.

Now, on to legwarmers, these are actually very cute on the kids:

Somehow they just don't have the same effect on adults. Now I know how to wear those skinny jeans of mine.

As long as we are talking adults in childrens clothing, check out this clown (and I'm not talking about the picture on her jumper.)
According to the blurb on the book this design is from there are some timeless classics contained in it's pages. Take a geezer at these, timeless classics?!

At least that last one has an inbuilt head rest, beautiful AND practical.

Has anyone noticed the eighties are back? In the fashion world at least. Remember those black elastic belts? High waists? Bubble skirts? Skinny jeans? (I know I know.)
Here is a little picture that shows the dangers of tight high pants, proceed with caution, the following picture contains material that may offend sensitive viewers.
It's a camel toe. The picture is not very clear, be thankful.

Crimes Against Craft

Welcome to my very first Crimes Against Craft Wednesday. Let's get straight into it. Check out the cover of this book, you just know it is going to be good don't you?

Now, look what's inside. See how the models are laughing? They can't believe those swim suits are for real, it must be a joke, surely it's a joke? No, and they haven't seen what they are going to model next.
These little numbers sure wiped the smiles off their faces!