Tuesday, 18 September 2007

Fresh Meat

It has occurred to me that with this blogging thing I now have a fresh audience for all my stories, you know those ones you tell over and over, the standby party stories?

I did intend this blog to be mostly about knitting and spinning and stuff, but it just hasn't worked out that way so far. Anyway our camera has just broken, so I can't show you anything anyway. I have never made a new year resolution, never. I make up for it by making little mini resolutions to myself nearly everyday. My latest being, I will start doing more craft posts on my blog. But then the camera broke.

Anyway so, you may have noticed that while a few weeks ago I was grumpy and out of sorts, at the moment I'm happy and chatty and such. You (or at least husband) will be pleased to learn that I have just purchased some evening primrose oil tablets, which I am hoping may alleviate the mood swings. Actually what I have just experienced was I think pre-menstrual depression, quite different to ordinary PMS. I didn't even know it existed, but I have been looking at the Beyond Blue website, evidence enough that I was having more than just ordinary PMS. Anyway, I wasn't going to talk about that in this post, perhaps another day, if you are interested.

Anyway so, in the absence of a camera, I will now tell you a story, sorry Stomper, you've heard this one already. Too lazy to do links today but Stomper's post about some unwelcome guests reminded me of this one.

It was a few years ago, before I had children, and in between boyfriends that I lived two minutes from the pub. I spent many hours there, a kind of substitute lounge room, and a welcome escape from my house mate. I had a pool playing buddy, under whose tuition I could actually pot a ball occasionally, and who would often pop by the house to see if I was in the mood for a game of pool at the pub.

At this time it had been my misfortune to have received a visit from some unwelcome guests who took up residence in my hair. They were stubborn little blighters; having already survived two attempted evictions, I purchased a 'leave in all night' lotion.

I painstakingly applied the lotion ensuring every strand was covered. Just as I had emptied the final drop on to my head there was a knock at the door, it was my pool buddy.

"I can't possibly come to the pub tonight, look at my hair, I have to leave it in all night."

"No one will notice, come on."

"Are you kidding? I look like I've dunked my head in some kind of grease pit."

"Please? Come on, you look fine, really."

"Well, I guess it has stopped dripping, I'll just tie it back, you sure it looks OK?"

"You look fine."


It was 30 minutes later, while I was standing at the bar that I noticed a male admirer sidling ever closer. Not in the mood to attract attention I studiously tried to avoid eye contact. Not to be deterred, my admirer found his way to my side, (as close as he could get, what with me inching away feeling most uncomfortable) luckily for him the bar was crowded or he wouldn't have had a snowball's chance in hell of being within earshot, and then it came, the ultimate pickup line;

"You smell nice, kind of....medicinal."



Blogger bluemountainsmary said...

That is very very eerie timing that you should tell that story since I have spent the last 24 hours periodically scraping through the kids hair like some kind of frenzied ape or something. And that nice medicinal smell - all through the house at the moment.
SO did you get lucky?

And yes I would like to know a bit more about the PMS etc. It is something I am having problems wiht - not depression - just rage and muzzy headedness -
you know.

18 September 2007 at 18:25  
Anonymous tracey petersen said...

Tell me that you gave him a chance! What a guy. He liked you enough to be...honest!

18 September 2007 at 18:56  
Blogger crafty said...

Sorry guys, I couldn't get away fast enough. I think he may have had beer goggles on, and I was far too embarassed to be honest about what the medicinal smell was.

18 September 2007 at 19:46  
Blogger riseoutofme said...

Try Starflower Oil, B6 and magnesium for the PMS ....you need to be taking them for a couple of weeks before you notice any improvements but it works!

Poor guy ... I liked his chat up line ... who knows where it might have led??

Doctors and nurses .....

18 September 2007 at 22:24  
Blogger Melinda said...

Let's HOPE he was drunk. Wonder if his house smells like isopropyl?

Oh, I have SERIOUS PMS.... didn't have it that bad as a teenager/college age person, but now? Shoot me with a silver bullet because I'm like a werewolf under a full moon.... very, very evil.... I would escape from me during this time if I could! Please let me know if you find something that helps... I'm sure Rob would appreciate it too!

19 September 2007 at 00:25  
Blogger meggie said...

I laughed out loud at this story! Hilarious. Aren't men strange.

Oh just wait kids, you have the wonderful menopause flushes to look forward to!
My brain bubbles & fizzes in my head, & I cant think or breathe sometimes!
This is now that I seem to have stopped having to lie on tiles, wet, & praying for a blizzard in the midnight hours!

19 September 2007 at 07:28  
Blogger Tanya Brown said...

"You smell nice, kind of....medicinal."

Gosh, those are words calculated to get a roll on the satin sheets, aren't they? His nickname must have been Mr. Smooth.

19 September 2007 at 09:52  
Blogger bluemountainsmary said...

Crafty _ i responded to your comment at my place and then I thought i would call into your place because that tip re riseoutofme was beyond perfect.

19 September 2007 at 10:53  
Blogger Stomper Girl said...

We should ditch the kids and the 4 of us should go play pool at a pub. Fixit and I don't mind a game of pool, although I doubt I could hit much - it's been a whole lifetime since I played. I'm not wearing nit treatment though.

19 September 2007 at 12:54  
Blogger Fairlie said...

Laughing too much to comment sensibly...

19 September 2007 at 13:40  
Blogger caramaena said...


19 September 2007 at 18:26  
Blogger Aunty Evil said...

That is funny!

Kind of medicinal, and a wildlife sanctuary to boot!

He could have had it all!

20 September 2007 at 09:30  
Blogger crafty said...

Perhaps I should develop a new perfume, forget pheromones, it's clean pharmaceutical chemically smells that attract the boys... well some of them anyway.

Stomper that sounds like fun, only we have a babysitting shortage, we -definitely- should go out though the four of us, we'll work on it. Perhaps when Husband is recovering from you know what, because he won't be able to go riding or rogaining or anything. Hmm, this shoud be an email really, oh well it's my comments box.

20 September 2007 at 10:04  
Blogger Sue xx said...

That's funny I wonder what he was thinking the next morning! Maybe he thought you were a dr smelling like medicine and he was going to get lucky with Dr Love!!!!!
Sue xx

20 September 2007 at 20:49  

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